divorced thru diagnosis

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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby marymac » Mon Jun 04, 2012 6:55 am

And I thought it was me. . . been married for 37 years (was a child bride uh huh), have 2 daughters out of college in their 20s. He has a broken neck (railroad) but to look at him you wouldn't know. (Sound familiar?) He got mad when I got the diagnosis, has never been to a single doctor appointment of any kind, never once sat with me during 2 years of injecting Forteo into myself nightly for osteoperosis, and refuses to buy my medical insurance (have none). When I ask for a hug, I get "I don't want to break you" or some other avoidable reason. Human touch is healing, now it's going on 5 years with nothing, I just turned 60, weigh 100, still get up, dressed and makeup every day and zippo. The people in the supermarket compliment me but that's not who I want to hear it from. I figure that's it for me, with SM as baggage, who wouldn't run? So I play piano, try to use my internet minutes wisely as he thinks I get everything I read, and putter along, so alone. Every night I cry myself to sleep knowing there will never be a kind hug, or snuggle, or hand holding, or even talking about the subject.

I've never told this to anyone. I feel better getting it out, but am humiliated just the same. I still have a heartful of love to give but nobody wants it. Sorry to be a crybaby. We should get together for a gentle hugfest!

Love, hugs, fake smiles
Marymac
Central disc herniations C5-6 and C6-7, extensive syringohydromyelia cavity throughout the cervical & thoracic cord (large syrinx from C6 inferiorly.)

"Every day is a gift: Thats why it's called the Present"
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby wendi » Tue Jun 05, 2012 1:10 pm

Oh Bev: I hate that for you! Sometimes Men (women too) are just pigs and jerks and bad words that won't print here. He will get his in the end. I know what you are going thru is painful, but this too will pass. It sounds as tho, MD is a lot like PA in regard to marital assesets. It probably doesn't matter that he is cheating and didn't work those last few years. I truly beleve people do get their come uppance in the end. It happened recently to my friends ex after he cheated on her. Hang in there. We are here for you.

Wendi
ACM 7.5mm B4 TCS 2.4mm post op
TC ,TCS @ TCI on 1/3/08,
chronic sacrolitis
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby tattoodlb1 » Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:29 am

Hi All..... Roz, Janice, Phyrehawk, Smoovie, been almost 2 years since I posted; but there has been a lot of turmoil in my life since my last post (can't even remember when that was). My pain got worse; tried a bazillion pain meds, anxiety/mood meds because I tried to kill myself after my husband left (we had been discussing divorce the day before); he took ALL the money from the bank accounts and left me with nothing. Since then I had to live off my credit cards mostly, got food stamps and now going to try for housing assistance.

I sleep most days, but here in MA, I got the best doctors anyone could ask for. I get what I need.
On the way home, I cried myself home and as I drove by a huge tree and was like "why not, just step on the gas harder"

I moved out of the house in August, after I met a super guy at the psych ward (we know we are both crazy, so it works) :)
Divorce was Nov 22, 2011. After a 12 1/2 year marriage. There is a lot of loss there and getting help dealing with it is very important. I've learned alot. no more ferrets for me, ACM/SM do not permit me to get down on the floor and on my knees now. I would love to save them all; but I realize I can't. AmyJoe, I'm glad you are helping dogs, we will be looking for one that has a short coat and gets along with cats. Ok, nap time for me ladies and gents..... will write more later.
Syringomyelia entire spinal cord including throughout conus, Chiari ? Hemangioma T2, Multiple Tarlov cysts; Empty sella & degenerative disc disease entire spine.. severe Fibromyalgia (central cord hypersensitivity).
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby wendi » Mon Jun 25, 2012 7:10 am

Oh, Dana, I've not been on much, but I've been thinking about you. I'm so sorry you thought that was your only recourse. You know so many people care about you. I'm happy you were not successful. I do hope the help you got in the hospital helped. I hope you now qualify for DI. If nothing else, your depression should qualify you. You should check in here more often if you are feeling alone. You do sound better. It is probably a good thing your ex is gone as he was not good for you. Please know I'm here for you.

Wendi
ACM 7.5mm B4 TCS 2.4mm post op
TC ,TCS @ TCI on 1/3/08,
chronic sacrolitis
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby jswack » Mon Jun 25, 2012 2:01 pm

Every flutist knows this story from the solo flute work by Debussy (the one I played at the Madison conference banquet). The nymph is turned into a reed and Pan plucks it and makes a flute out if it. Also referred to in Debussy's Prelude to Afternoon of a Faun, as in the French poem on which it is based.
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby tattoodlb1 » Fri Jun 29, 2012 7:28 pm

Thank you all for thinking of me and replying. I have had to be a tough cookie which is hard because my energy level is LOW; I have a certain number of hours per day that I am capable and able to do anything, watching TV doesn't count hehehehehe..... I can barely open a jar, hold a cup of coffee. I made an urgent care appointment with my neurologist who is a very nice guy. My legs get shaky when I walk very far make it hard to get home. Left knee/elbow gets pain severe enough to wake me up crying to get a pain patch.

I wish I never heard of SM/CM/FM; I want my old life back along with the energy of a race horse instead of a 175 year old Galapagos turtle.

I know I have choices; but for now I'll slog through it because of those that care about me (especially my cats).

Bless you all for being here and listening I appreciate it.

Janice,I miss you please drop me a line. HikeAlaska, thinking of you, too.
Dana
Syringomyelia entire spinal cord including throughout conus, Chiari ? Hemangioma T2, Multiple Tarlov cysts; Empty sella & degenerative disc disease entire spine.. severe Fibromyalgia (central cord hypersensitivity).
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby tnglitter » Sun Dec 23, 2012 8:11 am

Hello again everyone! Don't want to hijack this thread with my sudden re-appearance, but wanted to comment on it. Count me in on this experience too. Sad but true. Seems "in sickness and in health" doesn't really matter anymore. :( You've got plenty of company. Doesn't help that we wait SO long for a correct dx. I think my spouse got it in his head that I was faking it since I spent so many years "doctor shopping". ARGH
T Spine SM T8-T12 (9 mm) Syringopleural Shunt & Laminectomy T10/T11 5 Jan 09
C spine Disc bulges/canal narrowing/DDD
L spine Spondylosis/DDD

Mom of 3 daughters & MiMi to 2 grandsons & 1 granddaughter
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby Dcuster » Tue Jan 08, 2013 3:18 pm

Update for me: first let me say I am so sorry about all of our relationships ending because of our health. I was one of you for a short time, I jumped back on the wagon really fast. I met someone local to me who turned out to be my best friend. He and I both swear we were meant to be together both of us out of a 25yr marraige. etc. He loves me the way that I am and excepts me the way that I am. We get along great and I do have to say he is one of the kindest people I have ever met. My family loves him and his family loves me. We just got Married 11/23/12 so there is hope out there. I met my guy online on the mingle.com site and he contacted me on day three of being on the site. He works design engineering etc and he does not mind me not working at all and he understands about my health etc.

I think what I did in the beginning I just briefly told him about my illness, told him I was disabled and I could not work again. Told him my worthless X spent all my re-tirement and he said he did not care. Luckly I have my work related disability to fall back on which is about what I would have gotten if I had retired so that part worked out. Anyways I do think the key is not to over whelm your new partner with all the CM/SM stuff at one time slowly bring it into the picture once you have fallen for each other. Just tell them up front you can't work this is they way you are and you can only bring what you have to the relationship. If he/she are truly meant to be then it will happen. I dated my guy for a very short time, then he asked me to move in with him so I could get out of the apt, then we worked on us for little over 2 1/2 years before we were married. We even did the marrage preparedness course together just to make sure. This time I know I found MR. Right and wish you all luck and the best in your future. Now with that said I am trying to figure out how to change my user name from Dcuster to DBeauford lol anyone know how?
SM t10-T12 2.5 x 1.1 cm in dia, thorasic shunt 2002,
Pineal Cyst, C5-C6 fusion 2005, Lumbar L2-L6 w/4 level fusion with hardware 2006, adrenal gland tumor, 7-8 thyroid nodules, 2008 C4-C7 Corepectomy with hardware.
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby wendi » Tue Jan 08, 2013 4:37 pm

Congratulations! I'm very happy for you. Go into settings. I had to change my email address, I'm sure it's in there. Take care,

Wendi in
PA
ACM 7.5mm B4 TCS 2.4mm post op
TC ,TCS @ TCI on 1/3/08,
chronic sacrolitis
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby syrinx48 » Wed Jan 09, 2013 7:14 am

Under board index, there is a topic user control panel. Try that one

Annemarie

PS. Congratulations btw!
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby June » Thu Jan 10, 2013 11:28 pm

Even though it is a sad topic, I am glad to hear from some of the "old timers" who don't post regularly anymore. Hickchips, it's been forever! Hope you're doing OK.

I guess I'm one of the lucky ones, If you can call it luck. My husband was diagnosed with Parkinson's and then emphysema a few years before my SM diagnosis. So he has his own struggles and understands pain and fatigue. We do our best to take care of each other.
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Re: divorced thru diagnosis

Postby Beverley » Mon Jul 01, 2013 9:14 am

Congratulations Dcuster!!
I am happy to hear that there are happy endings.
I do hope that you guys have many happy years together.

Beverley
Decompression Surgery Feb 8, 2008 w/Duraplasty & Laminectomy C-1&2
Cervical Disc Fusion 11/08 C5&6/6&7- Mild Disc Bulge L2-Focal Hemangioma
L2-L5-Lipoma 3mm L4&L5-Disc Bulge T11&T12-DDD
Dopa-Responsive Dystonia (DRD)
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